You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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