I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Randomize
