watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
A+ Viking dick
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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