So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Randomize
