It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Randomize
