Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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