Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize
