know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
