Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
My vagina just clenched in fear
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