guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
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