he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
You made out with two different species that night
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Randomize
