morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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