put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
