Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
