I need help removing her.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
