The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
