Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Randomize
