Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I'm determined to sit on that face.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
