I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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