It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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