Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
whose ass print is on the piano?
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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