I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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