Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
