just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
