I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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