When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Randomize
