I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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