Midget sex pt 2 tonight
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Are we still banned from the library?
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Randomize
