He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
