Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Randomize
