D3 body, D1 cock
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
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