yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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