stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
