They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
