Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
