I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Randomize
