two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
