I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Randomize
