This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Randomize
