Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Randomize
