Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
