I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Randomize
