I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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