Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
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