Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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