im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
