I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
She's JV to your varsity
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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