Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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