remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Two words: blizzard sex
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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