no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
