Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
I think my fart just growled at me.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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